Child's Play
by Evil-chan
Summary: Child's Play is the Devil's workshop...nothing is the same once children enter thepicture.Pandemonium!Newton's laws of motion! Flambe Hotpockets! Schizo four year olds that think they can fly! What's a babysitter to do?
1. Chapter 1

Yes, yes, yes! I got a new laptop, meaning that I now have complete access to the Internet and can now update my fanfic, _TCAA_. Thank you Tia Norma for graciously giving, not selling, this laptop to me and for always believing in me, gracias! Oh-kay, moving on, I have yet to write chapter four of _TCAA _thanks to being diagnosed with lazyitis, writer's block, and I lack of time. But, before you throw your rotten tomatoes at me; I have come up with this new fanfiction to sedate your hunger for wonderful writing! (You make it sound as if they _want _to read your stories.) Thank you Benja-meanie for the confidence boost, really I needed it. NOT! Sigh, well I like to think my stories are at least bearable and enjoyable. This fanfic is a short story and I certainly would not have had the guts to have typed this disgrace to all written works hadn't my best friend, Ale-chan, actually made me believe that people will actual review this abomination. So if you've got a problem with it, blame and throw rotten tomatoes at her! Not me! Ain't I a loyal friend? Oh yes, if you've noticed the absence of D.C and C.F that's because they have allowed me to actually write (type), yeah type whatever, this story all by myself! -- Most likely cuz they don't want to take part in a total retard of a story. Well before I talk myself out of putting up this story and continue further self-abuse to my ego and pride, without further ado…**_Child's Play_**.

Disclaimer: I, Evil-chan, hold no rights over the Inuyasha characters…but one day, mwahaha…

Chapter 1: Novice Baby-Sitter 

_6:32 P.M_

" Inuyasha! They should be here in…two hours!"

_And your point would be?_

"So, detach your eyeballs from the T.V., get off your lazy bum, and help me clean this pigsty!"

_Aaah—No, I think not._

I continued watching the sitcom. Well, I would have continued; had not a pair of finely shaped legs blocked my view. Mind you, I really don't mind starring at these legs. They can lead to such…_detailed_ fantasies. Unfortunately, the effect was shattered as I noticed that the right foot was tapping on the tile floor. A universal habit that signaled my wife was impatient and, judging by how she was now stomping, rather then tapping the floor, quite irritated by my impertinence.

Reluctantly, I drew my admiring gaze away from her curvaceous legs and skittered them onto her face.

She raised her eyebrow inquiringly and asked," Well?" testily.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to help me clean this mess?" She growled out. Ooooh, feisty! You know a wise man would just get up and do what he is asked and make his wife happy. But, where, I ask you, is the fun in that?

"No," I said simply.

" No?" She reiterated.

I looked at her as if one would look at a dumb child," No," I sounded out." It's a monosyllable so its not hard to comprehend, what are you retarded?"

Her face flushed red and her eyed narrowed ominously," Wh-, yo-, you…" She stuttered.

" You know you're cute when you're angry, maybe even sexy."

Her eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed again. Then she smiled.

_Uh-oh._

You know those smiles that are overflowing with "brightness" and extruding "happiness" that you _know _something _evil_ is lurking underneath all that gaiety? Yeah, those _really_ creepy smiles. Well, that's the kind of smile that wife dearest is aiming right at me. I'm starting to think I a may have gone a bit over-board.

I kept my guard, ready for a fiery diatribe or—audible gulp inserted here— physical harm.

My wife has this irrevocable…compulsion. Its termed Throw-Objects-At-Inuyasha Compulsion medically, or T.O.A.I, as I like to call it. Whenever she is pissed, I usually get the brute force of her anger (which usually comes in the shape of a flower vase, book, paperweight, or any heavy and destructive object really).

True, I _usually_ am the cause of her initial anger but hello! Ever heard of anger management?

"I'm going to knock out the trash," she said, faux smile still pasted.

I watched her intently as she stomped to the kitchen.

An island separated our kitchen from the dining area; so, it was easy to keep watch for any sudden, throwing-like motion. But, she just rummaged through the cupboards.

_Hmmm, no violent reaction? Odd, really odd. Sus-piii-icious._

I turned my attention back to the T.V., the foreboding feeling increasing and warning me. You didn't have to be half dog-demon to sense that something was wrong.

Finally, it registered.

"Kagome," I called cautiously, my back still facing her. " Don't you mean _take out_ the trash?" Dare I turn? Yes, I shall face this like a man!

"What are you? Retarded? What part of 'I'm knocking out the trash' can't you comprehend?"

She walked out of the kitchen…clutching an ordinary kitchen cookware rather menacingly.

My eyes widened.

_Shit._

"Kagome, put the pan down and lets settle this like rational adu-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence. I was too busy kissing metal and counting stars. See? T.O.A.I Compulsion. It's a killer.

To avoid any more bodily harm to yours truly, I capitulated and began cleaning the damn house.

I was washing the dishes and grumbling about how we wouldn't have to wash so many dishes if we'd just eat Ramen everyday, when I heard slow music coming from the living room. I peeked into the living room, only to see Kagome dancing to the slow, tender music with the mop she was using.

Gliding with a mop, mouthing the lyrics, wearing just plain jeans and a shirt, her hair bound into a low ponytail with a few wayward hairs sticking out…she looked beautiful.

Not that I'd ever voice such romantic notions…but no sense denying it mentally. Though she may be violent… and annoying…and a bit crazy… and temperamental… and moody… and bossy…and did I mention violent? Well she may have her quirks but I couldn't love her any less.

I wanted a child.

_Our_ child.

I really could care less what sex it is. If it was a girl, though, I would like her to have her mother's mass of hair…maybe she'd have my eyes. But, God forbid that she'd have her mother's painful compulsion. T.O.A.I. isn't hereditary is it?

I was snapped out of my reverie by _ding_ of the doorbell.

Kagome, to my secret disappointed, stopped her Mop Waltz, turned down the volume, did that thing women do when they are about to welcome guests into their home (you know, when they fix up their hair and quickly check their clothes and make-up.), and excitedly opened the door.

She gave a shrill, happy shriek as she launched herself into her brother's arms.

Finally, Souta has come from Hokashaido for a visit.

S'cuse me, Souta, his wife (who happens to be an American, fluent in Japanese, and very beautiful. I still think Souta drugged her wine when he proposed to her.), Emily, and his _seven_ kids. Yup, Souta has been pretty busy lovin' his wife.

Once everyone kissed, hugged, and said their " I miss you" 's, they all sat on the couch and got reacquainted.

…Leaving me in charge of the catering responsibilities. _Crap._ What am I? A Golden Retriever?

Don't answer that.

I was filling the glasses with ice cubes when I felt the uncomfortable sensation that someone was starring at me.

I turned and saw the second youngest of children gazing at me…well, her gaze was mainly fixated on my ears—which being the half-dog demon I am, I have dog ears rather than human ones attached to my head.

I really don't mind 'em. My dog-ears, I mean. They are magnets that attract the female species and hey! Who wouldn't be cool with that (Well, Miroku for one, but he's just jealous because he doesn't have any women-magnets!)? I mean, because of these furry appendages, I met Kagome. Sure she tackled me in the Ramen section of the grocery store and just started rubbing my ears, but I met her nonetheless. So I am really comfortable that I have dog-ears.

Except not in this moment. Because it seems they've caught the apt interest of a four-year old who is starring at me the way those two, creepy twins were in the movie _The Shining_. I mean she was, kind of, cute. She had short, black hair that was held up in a half-ponytail; her clothes consisted of a pink long sleeved shirt with Hello Kitty dancing around on it and pink warm-ups. She was a bit pudgy with baby fat. And…she was still starring.

"Uh…hi?" I said rather intelligently.

" Hello." Finally, her stare left my ears and landed on my face. Good, I was always one for eye contact while having a conversation.

" Why do you have big, purple bump on forehead?" She asked.

_Go back and stare at my ears kid!_

" Ihadanaccident," I grumbled, "so what's your name?"

" My name is Priscilla," she declared proudly—My brother-in-law, who is a linguist, has a strange fascination with American names. All seven kids are dubbed with American names.

" Well, you can call me Uncle Inuyasha."

" Inuwasha?' She pronounced.

" Inuyasha," I corrected.

"Inusasha?"

_Patience,_ I thought,_ patience_.

" Inu-YA-sha," I broke down, sounding out the syllables.

"Aaah," She exclaimed happily.

_Yes! We made a breakthrough!_

" Inugasha!" She laughed with pride.

_Dumb brat._

"You know what? Just call me Uncle Inu, okay?"

" Okay!" What is it with kids and their need to exclaim every sentence they spout out?

I went back to my catering/host duties. She went back to starring. All was well with the world.

I carried the tray full of provisions and drinks into the living room. I noticed that everyone was getting up and putting on their coats.

"Where are you going?' I set the tray on the cedar table.

"Inuyasha," Kagome said as she buttoned on her second coat—It was snowing and pretty cold outside—," Souta, Emily, the kids, and I are going to visit mama at the shrine but—"

I lifted my eyebrow,"—But Inuyasha has to stay home, all by his lonesome self." I finished.

She bit her lower lip, her eyes looked up at me apologetically," Sorry, Inuyasha but, I need someone to let Myoga in so he can get the first draft and edit. I'm really sorry." Kagome is a rather successful children's author and Myoga is her editor.

"Hey, it alright. Spend some quality time with your brother. Besides, I could use some quality time without a nagging, pan throwing wife around." I joked.

She sported a mock expression of indignation, and then playfully punched my shoulder. I gave a peck on the mouth and sent her of; Souta and the rest of the family Brady followed.

I watched as they pulled out of the driveway and drove out of sight.

My ears picked a noise from behind me, a kind of sniffle sound; I turned quickly.

"Priscilla?" I said aloud with surprise.

"Uncle Inu, I'm hungry." She whined.

_Shit._

I got the phone and dialed Kagome's cell phone. On the fourth ring she picked up, " I knew you couldn't last five minutes without hearing the sound of my melodious voice," she said without preamble.

" I think you mean odious voice." I volleyed back; a cry of disbelief came from the receiver. _Oh yeah, score one for Inuyasha!_ " Now, stop with the arrogance; you forgot a kid."

A pause. " No we didn't." Another pause. Movement can be heard coming from the other end. Suddenly a chorus of " Ohmigod!" rang out.

" You know, you should really keep track of your kids more better." I chastened.

" Shut up, Inuyasha!"

" Well, come pick her up!"

There was silence on the other extension. Never a good sign. If I know Kagome she is thinking of something…. The phone suddenly sounded as if it were covered with cotton, everything sounded dull; Kagome was most likely covering the receiver with her hand. Ha, ha! As if that can stop my demon sense of hearing. I heard some muffled whispers, then a "Sure!"—It sounded like Souta. Finally, Kagome got back on line.

"No," She caroled," I don't think we will."

"What?"

" You heard my _odious_ voice Inuyasha, we are not going to pick up Prissy."—I could practically see my wife's smug, victorious smile—Then she hanged up.

Why did I marry such a vengeful, bloodthirsty woman?

Oh well, baby-sitting can't be that difficult!

" UNCLE INU I AM HUNGRY!"

_Shoot me._

_**10:45 P.M**_

After feeding the brat (Ramen) she nagged me to play with her.

"WHY WON'T YOU PLAY WITH ME?" She squealed. I swear that by the time this ordeal is over I will have to acquire the help of a hearing aid.

" Cuz, I don't wanna!" I mimicked her bratty voice.

"You're mean!" She accused.

" Thank you, I try." I feigned modesty.

She stomped her foot on the floor while screaming," Play with me! Play with me! PLAY WITH ME!" countless of times.

This did not bode well for my patience, temper, and sensitive hearing.

_Inhale.Exhale.Inha—_

_Eureka! Idea!_

I smiled at Prissy." Okay lets play, Hide-N-Seek."

"Yaaaay!"

" You hide and I'll count to a hundred."

She scrunched her face and looked at me sternly," No peeking!"

"Okay," I agreed, "and you don't come out of your hiding place 'till I find you okay?"

"'KAY!"

I turned around and started counting.

She went to hide.

I stopped counting at fifthteen.

She kept on hiding.

_Perfect._

I went to find the T.V. remote.

_**11:30 P.M.**_

A blizzard was coming.

Kagome called to say that they had blocked the roads so they were staying at their mother's for the night. She didn't even bother hiding her amusement.

That meant that Priscilla is going to spend the night. Perfect—Note the sarcasm.

Irony had a sick sense of humor.

I had to find the brat to break the news. It didn't take long, finding her, that its. I heard a whimper coming from the laundry room.

She was in laundry hamper…stuck in the laundry hamper to be more accurate. You know the manufacturers of laundry hampers should really put warning labels for these kinds of situations. It took a full fifthteen minutes to get Priscilla's chubby body out of the laundry; it would have taken less time but she wouldn't quit squirming and kicking. Suffice to say, Priscilla did not want to play Hide-N-Seek anymore.

Once I gave her the news of her parents, I gave Priscilla a coloring book and some crayons that the brat next door left behind, I think his name is Shippo, to keep her occupied.

I got my stash from the cupboard and continued watching television.

Thirty minutes later…the inevitable happened.

" I want some candy," A grubby hand pointed at my stash.

" Back off, brat, their mine!" I said possessively. It never occurred to me that having a kid around meant I had to…_share_ my candy. " No one touches my candy!"

She pouted. Then, thankfully, her short-attention span moved her onto more important questions. " What are you watching?"

" Rambo. Now go color."

" I wanna watch Cartoon Network!"

"Do I care?"

She stomped away; I guess she went back to coloring.

I couldn't have been more right.

Oh, she colored alright. She colored a multi-color mural on the walls!

A psychologist or someone who studies child behavior might point out that this is just an outlet for Priscilla's _creative ability _and her_ artistic genius _at work, and such creative genius should not be _stunted_ so early in childhood. Artistic genius my butt! All I saw were squiggles and streaks and, Kagome is going to _stunt_ me with a boulder!

I gritted my teeth and tried to contain my anger.

I tried—but failed.

"PRISCILLA!" I bellowed.

She froze in mid-stroke. I grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked her up with one hand. I took her to our (Kagome's and mine) room and non-too gently threw her on the bed.

" Go to sleep," I bit out.

" But I want candy," she murmured.

" Sleep!" I slammed the door and went to clean Picasso-wannabe's work.

I was at last done with the rigorous scrubbing and cleaning when I heard soft footprints padding on the carpet down the hall and entering the kitchen.

Well, well, well. It seems we have a rat amongst us. I tell ya' some kids never learn. If a firm scolding doesn't work, I could feel my lips curve into a smile (A/N: EVIL SMILE!) there is always other _tactics_ that can be effective.

I got up and tiptoed to my closet and quickly rummaged.

AH-HA!

I found the goblin Halloween mask in the back of the closet. Close up, it didn't look scary. Upon close inspection it was a cheap plastic mask with ridiculously bulbous, yellow eyes and tiny red dots in each eye that were supposed to look like the pupil; it's mouth was open wide, as if it were screaming, showing off all of it's rotten, rubbery "sharp" teeth. Yup, cheap and stupid looking was what it was…to an adult. But to a four year old… I chuckled sinisterly and hid behind the door.

She came back two minutes later with the telltale signs of my chocolate (Ooooo vengeance shall be mine for my dearly departed chocolate comrades!) smudged around her chubby face. When she turned around to close the door—she saw my grotesque face and screamed.

"Priscccciiiiillaaaahh!" I rasped out, in my best demon voice.

" NO! Noooooo!Aiiiiii!MOM!" She cried hysterically, tears streaming down her face.

I laughed evilly, " You should listen to Uncle Inuuuuu!" I know you are not supposed to laugh at the expense of someone else's misery and terror no matter how much she deserved it but MWA.HA.HA!

" STOP IT! STOP IIIIT!"

" HAHAHA! EVIIIILLL!" _This is fun!_ I peeled of the mask and said, "Boo!"

Priscilla just continued to convulse in sobs. Then she ran towards me and hugged my right leg tightly. Well…this is unexpected. I patted her shoulder awkwardly.

" Learned your lesson?" I asked.

She dolefully nodded.

" Go to sleep Prissy."

She nodded again and climbed up my bed and whimpered herself to sleep. Chocolate stains, tearstains, and all.

_WTF?_

I guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight._ Great…Damn snotty-nosed brats!_

I strode to the small couch; no way in hell was I going to comfortably sleep in that! I sighed deeply and tried to get comfortable.

_Damn it! This is going to be a long nigh. Oh well at least this was a one-night situation. Right?_

…Fate has a wicked tongue-in-cheek sense of humor…

TADA! What do you think? _I LIKE IT!_ **You're not so bad when you write solo. **( It's cool). Yay, I hope you're telling the truth! ( Evil-chan looks at D.C)…Well, I know you're telling the truth! Well, tell me what you think my wonderful readers and please give me an honest opinion don't spare my feelings; you're only hurting me more. Thank you Ale-chan! I hope the first chapter is alright. This story is dedicated to you! I hope you see me through it all the way! LUV YA! Oh yes, Evie-kichi, read this story and noted that I have a tendency to use a bit of an extended vocabulary. Now, I'm not saying that you all are illiterate, oh no! I'm not even hinting it, sincerely. Even I, Word Freek Wonder, don't know what some words mean! I would, to solve this problem, just simply substitute my words and put something more comprehendible but whom would I be helping? Instead I'm, going to put the definitions up and give ya'll SAT words to help you extend your vocabulary and use these words (if you don't already have 'em in your vocabulary) to sound articulate, confuse your friends, and help you new Juniors with the SATs; plus, you can use these words in your own written works!

Well here are ten words you might like and hope you have fun with ( I am such a word-addict, ahhhhh! I love 'em! Words, I mean.)

Here's to you Evie-kichi!

_**Word Freek's List of Bad Ass Words!**_

Aurous—have or relating to a golden color.

Arcane—mysterious, hidden, secret, obscure

Apish—foolishly imitative; silly

Exudates—to ooze forth

Capitulate- To surrender under specific conditions; acquiesce; to give up with no resistance.

_**BONUS: Latin word for ze day!**_

_Ad infinitum—endlessly, without limit, forever!_

I hope to find some better words later but for now her ya' go! If you'd like to see one of your own badass words up in the list just say so (albeit, the word is not an explicative!), you will, of course be acknowledged for you contribution to the Word Freeks List of Bad Ass Words! Hope you enjoy! Both the story and the list! Bye! Weeee, I am having fun with exclamation points right now!

Evil-chan!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi, here is the second chapter for Child's Play. I really hope you enjoy it. After this one is finished I will only have one more chapter to go! Yay! A note to all you who read this fanfic: I know you're there! So review! Pweease! If you like, say so…if you don't, then tell me why. I want to know what I'm doing wrong, so I can improve! Well, I hope you enjoy chapter two of " Child's Play".

_Child's Play_

_Chapter Two_

Disclaimer: Ahem, I do not own Inuyasha! BUT, haha I do own the plot! YAY-YEAH!** As if that's something to be proud of. **Boo-hoo, por queee? (Evil-chan runs off crying...what a sad LITTLE person).

P.S. A very SPECIAL thanks to **_Scarimoi, _**fellow fanfic authoress, for double checking and editing this fanfic, THANK YOU! All who read this know that she is an awesome writer and be sure to check out her fanfics, they're DA BOMB! Thanks, Maria!

* * *

Somehow or another, I managed to get some sleep.

And sometime during the night, guess who decided to make me her own personal mattress? Here's a hint: it wasn't Buyo.

It took a few minutes for me to register the fact that Priscilla was asleep on top of me. Correction, Priscilla was asleep and _drooling _on me. Unfortunately, it took my sleep-deprived brain a longer time to realize we, the brat and me, weren't the only ones in the living room.

I heard a recognizable giggle and an achingly familiar "_click_".

_Damnit!_

" Inuyasha, you don't know what cute a picture you two make!" Kagome's voice came from behind me. I turned reluctantly and immediately noticed Kagome's cell phone poised and ready to take another humiliating picture.

" Aww, Inuyasha, I knew you had a soft side! You're all bark and no bite!" Kagome cooed as she _clicked _another picture. Boy, was she getting a kick of this situation.

" Mornin' wife dearest. You're home early." I said in clipped tones, glaring at that stupid camera phone. _Somehow, someday when Kagome is not around…that cell phone will perish!_ I silently vowed to myself.

" Early? It's noon, didn't you have a good night's sleep?"

" No." I answered flatly.

She smiled, " Well, how did the darlin' behave?"

'_DARLIN'?' _My mind screamed in protest.I forced a smile, " Perfectly."

She knew I was lying, but she played along. " That's great!" She patted my leg while saying, " Hurry up and get dressed, we have guests."

" Alright." I stood up and the twerp, who was sleeping peacefully on my stomach, fell onto the floor.

" Ow! WAAHH!" Well…she woke up fast.

" INUYASHA!" Kagome scolded.

" What'd I do?" _Little crybaby, it was just a bump!_

* * *

_ I am in my sanctuary._ I meditated._ Untouchable. Invincible._

" Uncle Inu, what you doin' up the tree?"

Or so I wish…Grrr-ate! She found me. I glanced down from my perch; yup, there she was awaiting my answer expectantly. " Nuthin'. Now, go put a fork in an outlet or something."

"Huh?"

Well, obviously this one wasn't an Einstein in the making. " Nothing, brat, now leave me alone. I'm wishing for a life without you in the picture."

"No! I want to go up the tree! Play with me!" She ordered.

Mighty persistent isn't she? Well, I can be just as stubborn and clever. " Sorry, you can't come up, you could fall, break your neck, and die. But I will play with you."

"Yay!" She cheered.

" We'll play see-saw."

" See-saw? But you don't have one Uncle Inu!"

_Duh, Miss Obvious. Tis the point of my nefarious get-you-out-of-my-hair scheme!_ " Yeah, I know that. But we can make one!"

Her eyes widened, " Really?"

I nodded my head, " Uh-huh. I just gotta get a piece of plywood and you have to find a…boulder!"

" Where will I find a bowldar, Uncle Inu?"

"Uhh…" I looked franticly around for a suitable boulder…_Damn it! Where am I gonna find a—AH-HA! "_ Right there!" I said, as I pointed at a big, smooth boulder half dug into the snow. " Now all you gotta do is dig it out and roll it over here."

" But I can't do that!" She cried.

" Sure you can!" _If you were a full demon child or Superkid,_ I thought. But, she didn't seem convinced by my encouragement. So I used a subtle threat instead. " Fine, we won't play see-saw then, your loss!"

" No! I can do it, watch!" And she ran to the boulder with a determined expression.

_Feh, idiot._

Now, that the nuisance was taken care of, I surveyed the scene displayed in front of me. There was the oldest of the seven, Christina, talking into her cell phone with her boyfriend…whom it seems she can't live a minute without.

_Feh, teenagers_

Let's see… I surveyed the scene further; there was the second oldest, simply dubbed Jr. He was… err, on his skateboard on top of Souta's car, holding an old rope tightly. The other end of the rope was tied to a bike on which his sister, Stephanie, the third eldest, was stationed. Not too far away Spencer was expertly holding a video camera and his sister Jennifer, the fifth child, was watching the scene with anticipation.

Oh-kay, what the heck was going on?

That's when Spencer gave a quick thumbs-up sign. Jr. nodded. Stephanie twitched her nose and started pedaling furiously.

Here's a quick physics lesson

According to the laws of motion, an object at rest stays at rest, objects at motion stay at motion, unless an outside force acts upon them. Therefore according to the laws of motion, it was only logical that after being pulled by the force of his sister's rapid pedaling, Jr. would ramp down the car and be on his merry way, speeding towards a crudely built ramp that I had not noticed earlier.

And here's a common sense lesson: if you are about to do something as dare-devilish (and stupid) as the teenager in observation is, use a sturdy and strong rope.

Which is something that Jr. realized when his flimsy piece of string ripped apart and he and the skateboard were propelled, at a fast speed, towards a busy street.

His "ever- vigilant" sister did not notice that her cargo had just sling-shotted in the opposite direction, and continued pedaling.

I must admit that at noticing the boy's obvious danger, I tensed up and was prepared to save him. Until I remembered my laws of motion: objects at motion will stay at motion…unless an outside force acts upon it. Thankfully, that outside force came in the form of a tree and promptly (and painfully) stopped the runaway skateboarder. But don't worry.

Jr. was twitching on the snow.

Jennifer and Spencer were laughing their butts off.

Stephanie (a block away) finally realized something, or rather someone, was missing.

Christina took time off from the phone to scream, "IDIOT!"

And the best part is, we got it all on video! This one would make the history books.

Shaking my head slightly, I checked on Priscilla to see if she had given up her archeology duty.

Nope, she was still at it.

I looked at the scene completely, watched my front yard scattered with kids who were either: on the phone, pedaling back up the block, digging up boulders, lying on the snow (unmoving), or rewinding a camcorder and watching their favorite scenes…And all I could think was:

_This is madness._

* * *

Then again, as you grow up, you discover that Life _is _insanity Thankfully; you also learn how to live with insanity, and all the madness becomes routine; Life becomes a little predictable.

**But, **as I learned from yesterday and today, as soon as children enter the picture, you can kiss predictability and tranquility goodbye! And get prepared to expect the improbable.

Unfortunately, I wasn't prepared for the unexpected. So, when Kagome told me that I was going to baby-sit Prissy again (no, she didn't ask me; she _told _me, as in, my opinion and say-so did not count) I wasn't prepared; I was speechless. Well, vocally. But, mentally a million protests and questions buzzed.

_Wait._

" Judging from your expression," Kagome said, " I'd say you're speechless."

_What?_

" So I'll repeat, you are going to baby-sit Prissy, while Emily and I have a girls night out."

_Why me!_

" You'll have to do it since Souta is also going to go out to visit friends he hasn't seen since forever. Plus, you seem to enjoy baby-sitting." She laughed at the unbelievable fallacy of her last statement. If I weren't in a state of paralysis I'd also laugh…and cry.

_If we weren't married, I'd…_I thought.

" Don't you growl at me Inuyasha!" Kagome scolded. " Thank goodness we're married and you love me because I can just imagine what'd happen to little ol' me."

_YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! _I whined.

" And of course, you **are **going to do me this little favor, or else…" She let the threat hang ominously.

I glared at her, daring her to finish her threat. She walked up to me slowly, keeping eye contact. She wrapped her arms around my neck and brought me down to her height. We were staring eye to eye, neither of us breaking contact. Then she smiled and whispered something so softly that if it weren't for my keen hearing, I'd have missed it. But I heard the threat nice and clear; I gulped audibly.

"Damn, I just had to marry a woman that was a miko," I muttered to myself.

"What was that Inuyasha?"

"I said…what about the other brats; I'm not taking care of them too."Kagome grinned "Oh, don't worry about them; they're staying at the Shrine."

"Then why do I have to take care of the brat! Let her siblings take care of her, I bet she'd rather stay with them then with me."

"Actually, Priscilla's the one who requested you as her baby-sitter. She is quite adamant about staying with you tonight."

I could feel by brow twitch, _when I get my hands on that twerp…_I sighed a weary sigh of defeat. Kagome, upon hearing my telltale sigh, smiled victoriously and reached to rub my ears. Grr-ate, I was **coerced **into another undesirable baby-sitting job. And I'm not even getting paid!

* * *

There is a Kami!

Due to the fact that Priscilla spent most of her afternoon at an (failed) attempt to excavate the boulder, her frail body was weak and exhausted from all her physical exertion. You know what that means, right? Yup, the little brat collapsed on the sofa and fell into a deep sleep this evening. Woot! Technically I don't have to look after her since she's asleep. Hells ya!

What is that little saying that Kagome usually tells me? Never shout glory before victory…or something like that— Well, yeah, I have to start listening to her advice. I swear I just took a couple of minutes taking a shower! Who knew that such a little, "sweet" twerp can make such a mess in such a short amount of time?

I came out of the shower feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and what do I see? The hallway littered with _my _clothes, _my_ magazines, and candy wrappers that used to, I am positive, envelop _my_ candy! But my possessiveness was the last thing in my mind at that moment because before I could shout I smelled the acrid stench of smoke, _shit_, I could see the dark, dense smoke escaping from the kitchen.

I ran to the kitchen, my heart pulsing with frantic trepidation. I feared the worst, I feared for Priscilla's safety.

When I reached the kitchen, the smoke, I realized, came from the microwave. Quickly, I yanked open the microwave door and saw the poor, burnt beyond recognition remains of the Hotpocket.

Now, that trouble was out of the way, I let out a gigantic sigh of relief, which was followed by an angry scream towards the guilty party.

"PRISCILLA!"

" Uncle Inu! Look at me!" I followed the little hellion's voice to the living room. Before I could rant and rave at her stupidity, I noticed she wasn't in the living room. _W.T.F? Where is that—?_

" Uncle Inu up here!" Dare I look up?

My eyes bulged as I took in the sight of Priscilla standing on top of the bookcase, (how the heck did she get up there?) her arms stretched out as if preparing to take flight. "Priscilla get down there before—"

" Peter Pan, Uncle Inu!" She said gleefully.

" I don't care about him, get down before you—" Once again I was interrupted.

" I can fly!" And the little idiot jumped from the tall bookcase, and effectively crashed her head onto the ceiling, and fell down the towards the tile floor.

I could have just let her fall and knock herself out; but this (don't laugh people!) _paternal _instinct made me leap and catch the brat without a second's hesitation.

" Uncle Inu," she wailed, tears dripping down her cheeks. "My head hurts!"

" Well that's the punishment you get for doing something stupid!" I said as I inspected her, worriedly (Not that I cared for the brat, its just Kagome wouldn't let me live found out Prissy got a concussion when she was under my care!). Sure enough a bump was already forming; but it was small and didn't look bad.

I sighed. I swear I have aged twenty years already. Look! I got grey hair already! Oh, wait, that's my silver hair. Phew!

" Priscilla, don't you ever do that again!" Her lower lip wobbled and her eyes started misting up again. "No don't cry! You just worried me." I said more gently.

Priscilla buried her head into my shirt and nodded. Damn it all, if that gesture didn't make want to console and comfort her.

" Oh, and Prissy how many minutes did you put on the microwave for your Hotpocket?"

She popped her head up and said proudly, "four minutes!" I raised my eyebrow in skepticism. Priscilla grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the foul-smelling kitchen. " Look! I show you Uncle Inu!"

When we reached the microwave, she happily punched in a four, a zero, another zero, and (surprises of surprises) another zero! After punching in "four" minutes, she looked at me with pride, chest inflated.

"Priscilla that isn't four minutes, that's forty, and you almost burnt the house down." I told her bluntly, and I felt like such an ogre once those words left my mouth. Her chest deflated like a balloon, the pride in her eyes was replaced by guilt and disappointment, and her lower-lip wobbled again.

Damn it, Kagome was right! I can be insensitive.

"B-but it's okay Priscilla! You were really close." I tried to raise her spirit, and rid myself of the guilt. " Yeah, you did good for a four year old, uh, just ask an adult if you want to use the microwave."

She looked up at me with a trusting smile, " Okay, Uncle Inu!"

My guilt vanished and I almost smiled. _Almost_! I couldn't let her see my soft side; I was playing the role of the evil uncle here.

" Whatever brat, I'll make popcorn and you go pick out a _good_, " -I emphasized- "movie."

" How about _Peter Pan,_ Uncle Inu?"

"No! You've been influenced enough by Peter. Choose any movie but that."

She ran laughing with glee to the living room.

I shook my head and was quite annoyed when I found out that I'm starting to warm up to the brat. Though I wasn't too fond of her at that moment, when I realized that I had to scrape of the charcoaled Hotpocket from the microwave.

I sighed; _child's play is the devil's workshop_.

* * *

Phew, I am finished! Woohoo, finally! (Evil-chan yawns) Dang it, I'm tired. I hopes you ppl enjoy this chapter…I'd put my word list right now, but I doubt any of you actually read. So why waste my time? Though I'm probably thinking this cuz I'm so sleepy. Wellz, please read and review! The next chapter of _Child's Play_ is going to be the last one…so yeah. Yay for me because one less story to worry about. And horray for you because you'll have the ending of a horrendous story, whoop…Augh, goodnight peoples!

Evil-chan

(Finally! Now I can sleep too!)

**You're still awake?**

Zzzzzzzzz

_Oh my!_

**Someone get the fire hose to wake her!**

PPS: (Evil-chan sniffs and pretends to cry) WAH! Why won't anyone review, is it that bad! (Uh, y-) I'M NOT ASKING YOU BENJAMIN!


End file.
